In all, a very quiet weekend for your man on the ground. Today started with a trip to Bumrungrad Hospital, reportedly one of the finest private hospitals in south east asia, to get my back checked out. The scenery in the waiting room alone was worth the bill, as dozens of lovely young thai girls in nurses’ uniforms trotted back and forth across the room. It took every bit of strength and discipline I had in me to stop myself from breaking out into an oriental version of a Benny Hill routine, running around pinching arses and lifting skirts until some pasty-faced old matron hits me over the head with a bed pan.

I finally got to a see an elderly thai doctor who looked me up and down, moved my arms in circles, then proceeded to tell me I have early onset arthritis in my back. What a load of bollocks. What a load of arthritic bollocks. I just need a good bone crack from a chiropractor is all.

So 2000 baht later for a consultation and arthritis medication, I am still in pain and no closer to relief, though the medication stipulates I’m not to imbibe alcohol while I’m taking it. Never being one to adhere to good advice, you can be sure I’ll have an update on the medical benefits of muscle relaxant pills and cheap vodka very soon. Stay tuned…