It’s 9am, and I’m at work. Damned heathens, forcing me to work on this holiest of sabbaths! How dare they! Do they not know it is my right to start drinking alcohol at breakfast, which leads to the ritual of the pre-lunch vomit.

In the afternoon I am supposed to take part in the “Feast of the Holy Mother”, which is followed by the “Homebrew of the Sacred Father”. The evening should be capped with me inhaling the ancient “herbs” and incense created by Brother Michael for this holiest of holy days.

Alas, I am at work, nuts deep in SQL Stored Procedures and badly written C# code. Pray for me brothers and sisters, pray for me.

So it looks like business as usual in downtown Bangkok today. Teenage girls in short, tight blue skirts and white tops make their way to university classes, Thai men lazily hang out on the footpaths eating rice and staring at said girls from the corners of their eyes. I stare openly. I can’t help it.

The air is thick with smoke and pollution this morning, so I should be grateful I’m in an air-conditioned office sheltered from the smog. But I’m not. I want to be drunk and happy with my friends and family. Never mind, only 365 shopping days until the next christmas.