What an odd week for Your Man On The Ground. New Years Eve celebrations were officially canceled due to the mourning period required for victims of the tsunami. Unofficial celebrations still took place amidst more than a few unofficial drinks with some good friends and good company, so the night was by no means a complete write-off. The Egyptian food we ate just off Soi 3 was interesting too, as the smell of the aromatic spices and apple shisha being smoked in giant water pipes made me want to keep eating and eating.

Sunday night saw me fighting for table space at my local sports bar as I watched Chelsea earn a hard-fought victory over Liverpool. The atmosphere was electric as punters from all over the globe gathered to watch the game on the big screen. If they’d have turned down the air-conditioning to five degrees and put the fire sprinklers on in the room, you could have almost felt like you were in the stands at the match.

I offered my one spare chair at the table to a massive Nigerian who soon invited his three friends over to the already cramped space. So there I was nervously jammed between four giant black men, and not for the first time in Thailand have I known what it would be like on your first night in prison. Turns out they were Chelsea supporters (isn’t everybody all of a sudden?) and they left me alone in peace.

“Beer, will you marry me?”

I did however later in the evening meet a very sexy girl who told me her name was Beer. I resisted the temptation to ask for her hand in marriage on the spot purely on the basis of her name. Should I have? You tell me…the polls are open and our operators are standing by for your call.

Speaking of women, the title of this blog entry refers to the thai word “mia/mee-ah” – which means wife. When I first came to Thailand I thought it would be easy to find myself a beautiful, sexy young girlfriend to take care of me and look after me till the end of my days. Time has shown this to be more difficult than I first thought. Starry-eyed single guys like myself who come here stunned by the incredible beauty of Thai women should be warned that there are more traps and difficulties regarding some of these oriental lovelies than you could possibly imagine. I’m in no position at all to be offering advice as yet, but maybe I’ll post more about what I’ve discovered at a later date.

“...It’s all part of lifes’ rich pageant…”

In 2004 I made some stupid mistakes, not heeded good advice, and generally fucked up in more than a few ways with regard to living here and avoiding the usual problems expats face, but as Inspector Clouseau was fond of saying “It’s all part of lifes’ rich pageant”. Live and learn is what I think he was trying to say.

Anyway let’s hope 2005 is a better year all round for Your Man On The Ground. It’s been a rough ride so far with plenty of high’s and lows (should that be lies and ho’s??) and the journey is far from over. Wish me luck.