Thai Massage but were afraid to experience.

Last night after a work-out at the gym I ventured out to further explore my new neighbourhood in order to find some cheap restaurants. Ended up at a place on Soi 23 called the “Primrose Steakhouse and Flower Shop”. It’s run by an old thai gal who used to be an air hostess back in her prime, very clean and tasty (I’m talking about her restaurant and food, not her!)

On the way home, I passed a slim, pretty young girl standing outside a thai massage shop. I had a few sheckels jingling in my pocket so I thought “what the hell” and asked her how much it cost. 250 baht (AUD$10) for an hour-long massage by a thai cutey sounded fine to me.

Once inside, she asks me if I “want soft massage or hard massage?” Having just been to the gym I tell her I’d like the “hard massage please”. She then turned around and called out to someone behind a curtain. The curtain parted and and a young woman came out who I can only describe as being built like a mountain gorilla with hands like a smithy’s.

Before I could change my mind, this rotund lass grabbed me by the arm and dragged me upstairs, as I looked longingly over my shoulder with tears in my eyes at the slim cutey for an hour of unrequited pain and suffering as the mountain gorilla pulled and twisted my every limb (not my shortest limb, thank god!) and dug her considerably-sized knees and elbows into me for what seemed an eternity.

At one point she rolled me on to my stomach as she crouched over me on all fours, and I almost feel that I know what it’s like to be the new guy on his first night in prison. But soon it was all over, everybody kept their clothes on (again, thank the gods) and I departed sore but relieved for a decent night’s sleep.