This morning as I walked out of the train station I pondered whether to put my woollen cap on or not, as it was cool but not really cold as such. Something in my brain told me to just put it on, so I did and continued strolling towards the bus stop.

Not three seconds later I felt a little "tap" as something fell on my head. Taking off my hat I saw that some lousy bird had shat all over it, but at least I had a scat-free scalp. Lucky me, eh?

Also in poop-related ponderings, last night I was watching tv with MyTW, whose grasp of English is still tenuous at best. An ad came on showing lots of labrador puppies and how if you bought brand X toilet paper they would donate money to train seeing-eye dogs for the blind.

MyTW obviously didn't understand it too well, as when the ad finished she turned to me in astonishment and said "Wow! I never see that before!"

"What's that, sweetheart?" I asked, thinking she meant seeing-eye dogs for the blind.

"You have special toilet paper for dogs!"

Thank the gods she starts english lessons next week...